i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
