there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It's blow job season.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
