Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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