wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
