Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
