There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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