david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
