How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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