if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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