I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
