At least make sure they are 18
Why
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
