OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
