Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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