Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i believe in u and ur pee
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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