i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
