Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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