I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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