its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
