he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
