I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
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