I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
