Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Randomize
