I showed him my bush... on skype.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
