I'm eating all of the evidence.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
