I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I forget how to act sober
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
