And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Randomize
