lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
