Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
how drunk are you?
Several
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
