did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
