You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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