this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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