I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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