Can Purell be used as lube?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
