does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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