it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
