i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
