all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
