Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
