Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
