Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Banned from zoo.
Again?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
