I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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