Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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