Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
