what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Randomize
