I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Congratulations! We have a period
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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