so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Two words: nipple clamps
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