so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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