my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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