I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
