Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
